Back 2 School: ABC's of BDSM
BDSM, which stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism, is a diverse and multifaceted subculture that involves a wide range of practices, dynamics, and terminology. Whether you're curious about BDSM or a seasoned practitioner, understanding the terminology is essential for communicating safe, consensual, and enjoyable sex. In this glossary, we'll explore key BDSM terms from A to Z to help you navigate this fascinating and sensual world, so strap in (or on) and let's get down and dirty.
A is for Aftercare
Aftercare is a crucial aspect of BDSM that takes place after a scene or session. It involves physical and emotional care for the participants, ensuring their well-being and helping them come down from the intense experiences. Aftercare can include cuddling, talking, applying soothing lotions, and providing reassurance and support.
B is for Bondage
Bondage refers to the practice of restraining a person's body, often with ropes, cuffs, or other restraints, for erotic or aesthetic purposes. It can range from simple hand-tying to intricate rope bondage designs. Explore more bondage wear here!
C is for Consent
Consent is the cornerstone of BDSM. It involves all participants willingly and enthusiastically agreeing to engage in specific activities, roles, or scenes. Consent should be clear, informed, and continuous throughout the experience.
D is for Dominance and Submission (D/s)
Dominance and Submission is a power exchange dynamic within BDSM. In a D/s relationship, one partner takes on the dominant role, while the other takes on the submissive role. These roles involve negotiated power dynamics, rules, and trust from both parties.
E is for Edgeplay
Edgeplay refers to the act of denying orgasm over and over to intensify the eventual climax. Once you do get there many people report the orgasm is so much more intense and satisfying - all good things cum to those who wait!
F is for Fetish
A fetish is a strong sexual attraction to a specific object, body part, or activity. Within the BDSM context, people may have fetishes for various elements such as leather, latex, feet, or specific role-playing scenarios. Explore our fetish selection to get more ideas!
G is for Gag
A gag is a device, often a ball or a bit, used to silence or limit speech during BDSM scenes. It can enhance the sense of power and submission in a scene.
Saffron Interchangeable Gag - £33.72
H is for Hard Limits
Hard limits are boundaries that should never be crossed in BDSM activities. These are the activities, scenarios, or actions that a person is not willing to engage in under any circumstances, and it is vital for these to be discussed before engaging in BDSM play.
I is for Impact Play
Impact play involves striking or hitting the body for sexual pleasure or arousal. It can include activities like spanking, flogging, caning, and whipping, using various tools and techniques.
For a guide, check out our blog 'How to use spanking equipment.'
J is for Jackhammering
Jackhammering is the act of thrusting with the penis in and out at a high intensity and speed.
K is for Kinkster
A kinkster is an individual who actively engages in BDSM or other kink-related activities. Kinksters come from diverse backgrounds and orientations, and are often brought together in a community.
L is for Limits
Limits are personal boundaries that individuals set for themselves in BDSM activities. These can include both hard limits and soft limits, which are activities that may be negotiated under specific conditions.
M is for Masochism
Masochism is the enjoyment of receiving pain or humiliation during BDSM activities. A person who enjoys this sensation is referred to as a masochist.
N is for Negotiation
Negotiation is the process of discussing and agreeing upon the terms, boundaries, and objectives of a BDSM scene or relationship. Effective negotiation ensures that all parties are on the same page and feel safe and comfortable.
O is for Obedience
Obedience is a key component of many D/s relationships, where the submissive partner follows the commands and wishes of the dominant partner within agreed-upon limits and boundaries.
P is for Polyamory
Polyamory involves having multiple consensual and ethical romantic or sexual relationships simultaneously. Some individuals in BDSM communities practice polyamory, forming complex relationship structures.
Q is for Queening
Queening is a form of BDSM facesitting where a dominant partner sits on the face of the submissive partner, often for erotic pleasure or as an act of dominance.
R is for Rope Bondage
Rope bondage, also known as shibari or kinbaku, is a specialized form of bondage that involves intricate patterns and knots created with ropes. It can be both visually stunning and physically stimulating for all parties, particularly if done with body safe and silky textured ropes.
Japanese Style Bondage Rope - £21.35
S is for Sadism
Sadism involves deriving pleasure from inflicting physical or psychological pain or humiliation on others during BDSM activities. A person who enjoys this sensation is referred to as a sadist.
T is for Top
The top is the person who takes on the dominant or active role in a BDSM scene. They are responsible for directing the scene and ensuring the safety and well-being of the bottom.
U is for Urethral Play
Urethral play involves inserting objects or devices into the urethra for sexual pleasure or stimulation. It requires careful attention to safety and hygiene.
V is for Vanilla
Vanilla is a term used in the BDSM community to describe non-kink or mainstream sexual activities and relationships. A "vanilla" person is someone who is not involved in BDSM.
W is for Wax Play
Wax play is a form of sensation play where hot wax is dripped onto the skin of the submissive partner. The sensation can range from soothing warmth to intense heat, and utmost care should be taken when engaging in any kind of wax play to avoid injury.
Ouch! Teasing Wax Candles - £10.55
X is for XXX
XXX represents explicit sexual content, often associated with pornography. While not exclusive to BDSM, it may be used within the community to describe particularly intense or explicit scenes.
Y is for Yoke
A yoke is a bondage device designed to restrict the movement of the wearer's neck and arms. It can be used for control and dominance in BDSM scenes.
Z is for Zipper
Body zippers are rows of pins or pegs that are clamped to the flesh of your partner's body and then ripped off in a ladder to achieve an intense rush of sensation that dances perfectly on that border between pleasure and pain.
Firecracker Clothespin Body Zipper - £37.65
Our ABC glossary offers a small glimpse into the diverse world of BDSM terminology, but keep in mind that the complex practices of BDSM are rooted in trust, communication, and consent, and it's essential to prioritize safety and respect in all BDSM activities and relationships.
