Foreplay tips to spice up your sex life

Have you been neglecting foreplay? Adding it back into your routine can not only spice up your sex life - it can help you and your partner connect emotionally and mentally as well. We are going to delve into our top foreplay tips to help elevate your sex life (and unlock amazing orgasms!)

Whilst a spur-of-the-moment quickie can be a hot way to incorporate intimacy into your life with spontaneity and playfulness, slowing down to ensure more mindful foreplay can be a truly sensual experience. Building on emotional connections and really playing with elements of anticipation can reinforce a deeper bond and lead to an epic crescendo; there’s nothing hotter than some build-up! So think about slowing down from time to time. The payoff will speak for itself! Now, take a look at the steamiest foreplay and techniques that can result in a spicier session for you and your partner.

What is foreplay?

Foreplay is essentially any activity that comes before engaging in sex. Whilst it can be the precursor to the main event, foreplay activities such as kissing, erotic touching, and massage can also be stand-alone play activities that increase excitement and arousal. These acts can be just as fulfilling without going any further. For some, foreplay can be even more fulfilling and satisfying than the actual sex, like that giddy Christmas Eve anticipation! 

Common foreplay acts can involve anything from sending dirty texts earlier in the day and cuddling or embracing to spanking or oral sex. Whatever turns you on, baby!

Benefits of foreplay

Arousing your partner before sex can, first and foremost, be the best way for their bodies to prepare for sex. Sexually exciting intimate acts can help the vagina to lubricate or help penis owners to maintain an erection. Building excitement through rubbing and touching increases blood flow by dilating the blood vessels and increasing pulse rate, essentially communicating to the body that erogenous zones are being stimulated.

Foreplay can also be one of the most effective elements in reaching orgasm. Research found that up to 10 minutes of foreplay helped up to 40% of women achieve climax, and rose to 60% when foreplay took place for 20 minutes. 

During foreplay (when kissing, for example), your brain can produce oxytocin, a stress-reducing hormone nicknamed the ‘love hormone’, strengthening bonds and connections. The combination of mental and physical arousal can help increase intimacy between partners, elevating the level of sexual pleasure and the overall experience. 

So let’s discuss how you can turn up the heat with your foreplay game with the help of our top foreplay tips.

Tips for better foreplay

1. Communication

Discussing what you want to experience in bed is the most important key to obtaining pleasure, but it can be easier said than done. If saying it outright sounds a little ‘cut and dry’ for you, taking a different approach when wording your requests can make it feel a little less awkward. Try phrasing it as “I love it when you do …” or “I’ve been thinking about you doing … all day long”. 

By incorporating your communication into dirty talk, you’re already engaging in a type of foreplay and making it fun! Remember, nobody is a mind-reader, so whilst you’re engaging in foreplay it can be not only helpful but also fun to direct your partner. Why not try taking things to the next level by trying out a dominant/submissive dynamic? This should always be discussed beforehand to ensure complete consent. In the heat of the moment, playing with power dynamics and giving or receiving sexual instructions can be a total turn-on! 

Some find that chatting whilst cozy and cuddled up offers them the support they need to be more vulnerable in terms of opening up with their partners. But if you’re still having difficulty communicating, then a sex therapist can be a fantastic way to receive bespoke feedback that can help you overcome this hurdle.

2. Take your time

The secret to foreplay is to build anticipation and grow that excitement. The longer you spend tending to your partner’s arousal, the more their bodies can be primed to both receive and give pleasure. Don’t race to the finish line - the key to great foreplay is to pay particular attention to the sensations you and your partner both enjoy. 

Deepen your kisses, let your fingers linger when caressing their erogenous zones, brush their hair, or even feed them fruit from your hands. Taking your time allows for the senses to fully absorb and luxuriate in the process of being adored. Giving can feel just as good as receiving as well in this situation, so linger on your favourite parts of your partner and slowly build up the pace of kissing and touching as things heat up. You may feel the urge to speed things up but don’t skip this initial stage of foreplay, and your partner will be thanking you afterward!

3. Set the scene

Before you even engage in any kind of activity with your partner, taking the time to set the scene by dressing your room in a romantic way is a considerate touch. Creating ambiance by placing rose petals on the bedsheets and dimly lit candles can build a sense of the erotic, getting them excited before you even touch one another. 

Pheromone candles such as this one can add a touch of romance and sensuality while lacing the air with delicious scents. They provide an aromatic ambiance, which can, in turn, contribute to a heightened sensory experience. 

Additionally, knowing that your partner went to the added effort of decorating and preparing a space just for you can be emotionally very telling of their dedication to you. Nothing spells out “love” like coming home from a hard day at work to see that your partner has cleaned up and gone that extra distance of making something feel special just for you.

4. Sensual message

Massage can be an excellent way to connect with your partner during foreplay, both physically and emotionally. Ensure you oil up their body with a tantalizingly fragrant oil such as this sumptuous edible mango oil, and then invite them to get comfortable in the room you’ve prepared. Not only will this allow your partner to leave at least some of their worries of the day at the door, but you’ll also have an excellent opportunity to coordinate your touch with your voice. Praise their body and tell them all of the things you’re going to do to them as you caress their increasingly relaxed body parts. 

You can start innocently with a back massage, then brush your hand lightly over their erogenous zones, implying where you really want to focus on…but not yet. This will contribute to a sense of anticipation that is the foundation of foreplay and will get their minds racing, knowing full well that they are the focus of your attention. 

5. Oral

Leading on quite nicely from the massage, this would be the perfect point to introduce some light touching or kissing with your mouth. Remembering what we discussed about taking things slowly, trail kisses down your partner’s body, and allow their building frustration for touch to work to your advantage. Build up slowly to end up at their neck, nipples, and finally their genitals.

You can brush up on cunnilingus or blowjob tips, but during foreplay, your goal isn’t to reach climax (just yet.) Oral sex can be a great tool in your foreplay repertoire, as it can be the next gear up in preparing for penetrative sex (if that is something you both want!) 

Figures show that between 70-90% of women cannot orgasm through penetrative sex alone, so other forms of stimulation involving the rest of the body can help get the blood pumping around the body, thus making sex even more pleasurable.

6. Being vocal with praise

Appreciating your partner’s body, actions, or mere existence can be a super appreciated way to build anticipation during foreplay. Particularly if they have a praise kink! Being complimentary about what they’re wearing and encouraging them whilst they’re squirming with pleasure at your touch can build on the erotic atmosphere you are curating with your foreplay. 

7. Role play

Dressing up can be exciting for both you and your partners. Whether you’re selecting a bedroom costume or a particularly naughty lingerie set, you can take great pleasure from the visual experience of seeing either yourself or your partner in a whole new costume. There is an array of textures, such as lace, silk, or latex bedroom attire, that can elevate your foreplay by bringing an additional sense of touch into the mix as well as visual stimulation.

Dressing up can also be a huge confidence boost, so pair up a set of fishnets and a babydoll chemise and flaunt your sexy stuff like only you can. A self-assured attitude is always sexy, and you might just find it works for you as much as your partner! 

Why not delve deeper into the world of bedroom costumes and slip into a little roleplay? Step into your alter ego with a traditional maid outfit, or dip your toe into some fetish wear, titillating your partner with the thrilling sight of you in a leather harness and collar. You could even wear your everyday clothes over the top so they have an additional sexy surprise when you start to undress each other. Adopt a character that you’ve discussed beforehand, and play out a fantasy scenario. Incorporating your wildest fantasies into your foreplay is a surefire way to spice things up. See how long they can bear you dragging it out before you allow any actual sexual acts to begin. 

8. Sensory play

What is sensory play? In short, it is the involvement of all five senses to heighten arousal during foreplay and sex. 

   •Sight
Slipping into a saucy new lingerie set can sometimes be all the foreplay you need to get you both feeling ready to take things further, but you can also play around with visual aspects with blindfolds. Removing the sense of sight will heighten other senses and really elevate those pulse rates!
    •Smell
Think about what turns you both on - not only visually. Take into account sensual smells with this gorgeous bath lotion. If you plan on giving a massage, then select one with your partner's favourite scents, and light a few candles to dress the room. 
    •Hearing
You might want to cater to the audible nature of arousal with some audio porn or even just dirty talking. Whisper quietly in your partner’s ear whilst they’re at their most vulnerable or when they least expect it!
    •Taste
Flavoured lubes can taste and smell delicious. Some of our favourites include this Playboy strawberry lube and this cupcake coochie-shaving cream. Are you salivating yet? You will be.
    •Touch
Finally, touch is the most explored sense during sex, but there are some sultry tips to try when improving your foreplay game. Warming or cooling lubes add a further stimulating sensation during foreplay and can even increase blood flow to the erogenous zones. 

If you both decide to engage in some impact play, a spanking paddle or whip can add a delicious sting to the sweetness. Pair that with a Wartenberg wheel prickling over their tremoring bodies to bring a flush to the skin and really get them whimpering!

 9. Temperature 

Temperature play is another common aspect of sensation play, and it’s so easy to try! You can find out more about it here.  Pop a metal or glass dildo in the fridge for an hour before you engage in foreplay, and trailing it over the skin will feel especially good on a hot day! 

Wax melts must always be made from body-safe materials. Never use a home candle, or you could risk serious injury due to them burning your partner at too-high temperatures. Try blindfolding your partner and dripping some body-safe wax onto their erogenous zones for some seriously intense sexual pleasure.

10. Try using sex toys

Sex toys can be another tool to spice up your foreplay practices, with toys ranging from couples toys, to BDSM toys and fetish play items. Use toys like The One rose that are super adaptable in how you use them. For example, not only does this toy feel great on the clitoris, but the air suction technology makes it a creative way to stimulate nipples and other erogenous zones during foreplay. 

Cock rings can also be a great addition for foreplay, with the restrictive bands limiting blood flow and applying pressure to the base of the penis to help maintain erections, as well as achieving a stronger orgasm. 

For some people, even just the prospect of introducing a sex toy can be arousing, so why don’t you browse our website together and make it part of your foreplay practice? You can find more information on the best sex toys for penises, the best sex toys for vaginas that would fit into a makeup bag if you're looking for additional guidance!

What if my partner isn’t into foreplay?

Oftentimes, what you consider lazy or selfish in a lover skipping foreplay can be rooted in a reluctance to communicate needs or confidence in their skills. This is where communication comes into play (the bedrock of intimacy!) Discuss why you feel that you need additional foreplay before you are ready to engage in sex.

It always helps to begin communications with praise rather than criticism, starting a conversation with “I love it when you do … can you do it more?” will land much better than “you never do…” If the issue is their lack of self-confidence, then building them up and showing them how to be the best lover to you is an excellent starting point. 

Sex and foreplay look different to everyone. Maybe your partner’s idea of foreplay looks a little different from yours, or maybe you just need to recalibrate your expectations of what you both want to get out of your sexual experiences together. This might also be a great point at which to speak to a sex or intimacy coach, as we mentioned before.

Foreplay can be the hottest key to spicing up your sex life, so try out these tips and thank us later!