"Sex and Disability: the stigma that needs tackling" GUEST BLOG by Disabled Sex Educator and Pleasure Activist Damian Weatherald

Sextoys.co.uk is delighted to be speaking with Damian Weatherald, Sex Educator, Pleasure Activist, Sex and Disability Awareness Trainer & Podcast Host. Damian speaks about sex and disability, and his role as a disabled pleasure activist.

Shop our range of Disability Pride toys here.

"It is hard to believe that in modern society, the topic of sex and disability is still seen as taboo. This is something that needs to be changed.

Disabled people are entitled to, can have, and should be able to have relationships and enjoy sexual pleasure without the fear of being judged, infantilised or fetishised.

Everyone who is able to give consent is entitled to sexual pleasure, regardless of their relationship status or abilities. It is vital to have open and honest conversations about sex and disability because there are too many disabled people who feel left out of these conversations and are often viewed as being asexual. We need to give disabled people a safe environment to discuss sex. One way of doing this is by having more inclusive pleasure-based sex education to help future generations learn that having a disability does not mean you can’t be sexually active. Getting rid of the stigma can also keep people safer as they are more likely to ask for advice about sex and sexual health in an environment where they don’t feel they are going to be judged. We need to see more training in the care sector, so staff and carers can be advised on dealing with questions and situations they may encounter regarding sex and relationships.

Pleasure products are a great way of making sexual pleasure more accessible for disabled people. This might be for solo play or with partners. There are lots of different products that can be used, such as remote, Bluetooth or App-controlled toys."

Rechargable egg: £23.41 - This small wireless rechargeable vibrating egg has 10 different, very exciting positions, all adjustable with the wireless remote control.

"Other products to look at are positional furniture, such as the Liberator wedge, which can help make certain positions more comfortable. Simple changes to packaging, controls or ergonomics can change how people access a product, making them suitable for a broader market. 

Liberator Wedge £105.42 - The slope, angle, and firmness make it easier to achieve your favorite sexual positions without leaving you exhausted. Expertly crafted, this sex wedge has a high-density inner foam core that keeps your bodies connected, lifted, and supported whether you're exploring missionary, from-behind, cowgirl, or oral sex positions. 

I started working in the pleasure products industry over 15 years ago. Over the years of working in the industry, I decided to specialise in helping disabled people find accessible products to help them have more fulfilled sex lives. There are still too many products that are inaccessible to disabled people, and this can be for many reasons; this could be packaging, material, button size and placement and even down to something as simple as how the product
charges. I found it frustrating that so many products were not accessible to me due to my disability. I heard so many stories from disabled people about the lack of sex education available and how they felt they could not have conversations with medical professionals either. I could relate to this - I had
basically no sex education at school, and I never received any guidance about how my disability may affect my sex life.

We need to have more inclusive sex education, doing this would help break down the stigmas disabled people face when we have conversations about sex.

This inspired me to train to become a sex educator and to dedicate more time to trying to instigate conversations about sex and disability and to give others advice about pleasure-based sexual health and pleasure products. As an activist and educator, I now regularly speak to people who still believe
that disabled people don’t or shouldn’t have sex, which is both frustrating and upsetting. It is so important to have these conversations and implement platforms to educate people to look beyond these outdated beliefs."

At Sextoys.co.uk, we believe that conversations about pleasure and disability should be had year-round and not just during disabled pride. Thanks for your insight Damian!